I don't know where this road is leading....: Finding what was missing

Where my dad grew up
Sister Kristin lives here now!

Have you ever worked for a long while on a jigsaw puzzle and when you were almost done you realized you were missing several pieces? At one point, the puzzle had all its pieces. It started out in a sealed box, ready to be opened by its first user and the possibilities were endless. Jigsaw puzzles remind me of life. They never tell the entire story once pieces go missing. And pieces for all of us go missing sooner or later, and this changes the landscape of our life.

My sister Katy and I (plus spouses and Madi) just returned from visiting Norway - the country where our dad (Odd Eugen) grew up. While both his parents were Norwegian, it was not their intent to raise him in Oslo. They both immigrated to New York when they were in their 20's; newly married and starting a new life in a new country. His father's brother, also newly married, came with them, leaving their homeland, their widowed mother and two sisters behind in Norway. I have no idea what happened to Kristen (the brother) nor do any of the family members...that puzzle piece went missing back in the 1960's. I do know what happened to my dad and his family. His puzzle came apart early,
which changed the course of his life and all future generations.

Pictures of my dad...AND US!!!!
We were already here :)

My grandfather and grandmother (Odd and Esther) lived happily in Brooklyn until my dad was almost three years old. In early 1927, Esther gave birth to a second son, Carl and eight days later she died of complications of childbirth. Not rare in those days but the first major puzzle piece loss for my dad. His father struggled on, working at the bank and now raising two young sons until late in 1928 when young Carl died in a measles epidemic. By this time, my dad was around five years old. He was put on a ship alone and sent to Norway to be raised by his grandmother and aunt. You could say he was an orphan for all practical purposes. While his dad visited him from time to time, they did not live together again until my dad was 15-16, when his father moved back to Norway (coinciding with World War II and Norway's involvement).

Can you say "family resemblance"?

Because my dad had dual citizenship, he participated in the Norwegian resistance and then joined the US Army for the last 18 months of the war. That is how he returned to the United States. His father remarried and had two daughters. All these years, while my dad had been back several times, we had never met any of his family with the exception of Aunt Sigrid who raised him. She visited the U.S. twice prior to her death in 1975. My dad died in 1985 and we had his ashes sent to Norway to be buried with his father, grandmother and aunt. Things finally changed when we arrived in early July.

I renewed my passport in 2011 for the trip that summer but then I was transferred to Texas so we put the trip on hold. Our next attempt was scheduled for Summer 2013 but things were too hectic. Following the loss of my brother (a big puzzle piece for us), it was decided we would wait no longer since life certainly wasn't waiting for us.

Katy and I spent the better part of a year planning this trip. We talked weekly, sometimes daily, (most times daily) confirming the dates, looking at flights, scheduling outings. I have been writing Dad's sister, Mette, since I was in my 20's and in recent years we graduated to email. Our relationship has evolved with technology despite the fact that we have never met. We have celebrated confirmations, graduations, weddings, the birth of children and grandchildren, and all their successes.We have mourned with each other when my dad (her brother) died, when I lost my son, when her husband died, when Erik died and then her mother. We have shared life together without ever meeting face to face....until this summer.

And the pieces came together....where they have been all along. It was not awkward or weird or any of those things. These people were not strangers, They are my family. And after waiting 57 years, we have finally had the pleasure of seeing each other - face to face, and smiled and hugged and laughed and talked and hugged again. The pieces are as they should be and many more than we knew were missing....were there. When it was time to go, now I felt I was leaving behind some puzzle pieces, but this time...I knew who and where they were.

When we first arrived, my Mom said "Norway will never be the same"
I replied, "I will never be the same".