I don't have to know who you are, to know who you are

Good, bad or indifferent-what do you represent

Have you ever noticed how we label people?  When making introductions, someone might say, "This is Mary.  She is a nurse.  End of introduction.  As if that is all there is to know about them.  Not that there is anything wrong with including vocation as a part of the introduction but is that all a person is?  Seriously, in conversation about others, someone might say "Do you know John?  He is an engineer".  And that is how we are supposed to determine (remember) if we know him.  Replace vocation with any one word label and you can see how ineffective it really is.

There is so much more.  In fact, I would wager that we know much about people we don't really know.  And their name is optional.

My blog's title came from a book written by Dean Koontz and a man was saying this to a woman who identified herself with an alias.  All he knew about her was what she portrayed during their time together.  This is what I took from that particular reading and in life generally.

I don't have to know who you are, to know who you are when  -you hold the door, when you smile, when you are running to the grocery store for your neighbor, when you give blood, when you volunteer at the food bank, when you are respectful, when you read to your kids, when you check in with a call.

I don't have to know who you are, to know who you are when - you say unkind things, issue harsh judgments, declare all or nothing, black or white (no gray allowed),  whine, complain, lie, cheat, and/or steal.

I don't have to know who you are, to know who you are when -you pray for others, when you sew caps for cancer patients, knit scarves for Special Olympics, plan showers to honor your family/friends who are getting married, or having a baby.

I don't have to know who you are, to know who you are when - you send birthday greetings, say please and thank you, go vote, advocate for a clean environment, volunteer in orphanages in Haiti, drive Seniors to their appointments, apologize, hold a hand, laugh, weep.

We are all so many things.  Made up of many actions - some we only do once and others become a way of life.

I don't know about you but I want to focus on all things positive and all good intentions (not just for what I hope to accomplish) but on how I think about people.  We are all so much more than the worst thing (or even the best thing) we ever do.

Until next time,
#bethebestversionofyourself

your pal,
Kari

Behaviors to keep in check

Before you speak, is it kind, true, respectful..necessary

I was reading a blog the other day talking about the five behaviors we must teach our kids to conquer, and it dawned on me that adults tend to struggle with these behaviors as well.  We can argue whether or not it is because we were never taught - or maybe it's just a sign of our times.

The first one is lying.  Is it any wonder our children lie when they see adults do it every day on television?  Shameful.  For that matter, I would even go so far as to suggest that maybe witnessing the media (day in and day out) put their particular slant on the truth, tends to make lying easier for all of us.  And not only TV and the media, any brand of social media sports its own unique brand of "fake news" which is just a vanilla term for lying.  We have even come up with words to excuse a lie - how about "exaggerated" "storyteller" and "just kidding" if we get called out.

The next one to consider is disrespecting authority.  Again, prime time television shows are chalk full of disrespectful behavior to adults, (including parents) and authority figures.  I can promise you my mouth would have been full of soap had I even THOUGHT about saying some of the things we witness and take as acceptable behavior.  No one is exempt.  From parents, neighbors, strangers, teachers and coaches, all the way up to our elected officials (and wannabees).

And along with the disrespectful behavior are the twin evils "unkind words and aggressive behavior".   This is an added bonus to "disrespecting authority".  Whatever happened to "if you don't have anything nice to say, say nothing at all."  I would even add, "if you don't have anything nice to say, constructive to the perceived problem, or sharing of past experience with same issue...zip it." Today's disagreements quickly escalate into name calling and (at times) threats.  That will really get me to change my opinion...NOT!

Last but not least - laziness.  Why?  In the past several years, the inclination to do nothing rather than something is almost epidemic.  Who will get the job done (whatever that job may be) if not you and me?  Keep in mind I am differentiating between "can't do" and "won't do".  One of the sayings I grew up with in the work world was "you can either push the wagon, or pull the wagon, but riders who shouldn't be riding, will be escorted off the wagon."  Granted, we all have our lazy days, but this is not a way of life.

If you still have children at home, there is time to address these issues.  Call them out on a lie (it may be cute at 3 but won't be at 13).  If your child is disrespectful to you (or anyone else), set the record straight on how we treat people.  Don't let them hear you disrespecting others either.  Kids are great mimics!  When unkind words or aggressive behavior is displayed, pull your child aside and voice your concern.  Sit them down for a few minutes (age appropriate) of pondering.  And finally, laziness has an easy solution.  Have your child set the table (clear it off), unload the dishwasher, make their bed, clean their room, write a letter to their Mimi (HINT).  Help them learn how to earn the participation medal in life.

Don't get me started on that today....a blog topic for another day.

Until next,
#nottoolateforyou
#everyone

your pal,
Kari

The Rear view window...of life

When you look back,what do you see?  Or should I say, what do you focus on, when you sneak that peek of the past?  We all take a quick peak over our shoulder,  especially this time of year.  And the interesting thing is, no matter what we see in reflection - nothing can be changed.

#everyday

In fact, any time we look in the rear view mirror (literally) it is just to see where we have been, or what might be coming up on us.  Today I was so busy checking my rear view mirror, I almost missed my exit.  Nothing looming behind me that could trigger a reaction, but I certainly wasn't focused on where I was going for that brief second.

Some of us have printed on our rear view mirror, "objects may be closer than the appear".  As the years go by, I can attest to many times when my reflective mirror brings the past to my front door.

And the longer we live, the more crowded the sights in the rear view mirror become.  What was significant one year, pales in comparison as we move forward.  (Note:  never think it can't get worse)

Then we begin the "what if" stage of our passing glance.  What if I said this???  Or what if I did that??  Everything would have changed.  At least that is what we think.  When in reality, we don't know that with any certainty....it just gives us the illusion of control.

Another major risk of looking too long in the rear view mirror, is that we may collide head-on, with what the future holds.  Or, maybe we will miss what was there all along.  Life certainly takes our full attention and trying to dabble in the past can upset the present apple cart. 

What will 2018 hold?  The New Year signifies new beginnings, efforts, opportunities for many.  Yet if we really want to have some illusion of "control" (or at least choice) in this life, our "New Year" can start any time we want to institute change.  When we look at life that way, every day is an opportunity...and more importantly, a blessing.

I don't know about you, but I am going to look at this New Year as a opportunity, ONE DAY AT A TIME.  There are many things I hope to accomplish and I am going to renew my efforts... daily!

Until next time,
#HAPPYNEWYEAR
#EVERYDAY

your pal,
Kari