Starting something at the end

Before a person sits down to write something, whether it be a research paper, a letter (that is almost a thing of the past), maybe just their thoughts, usually one has to gather information, know what it is they will be writing about, and then they will just get busy writing.  It seems a little backwards, starting something that is for all practical purposes, already finished.  But, the work has been done and now it's just a matter of getting it down on paper.  Starting something at the end.

What other things are like that?  I can think of several.  One major lesson that once we really learn, is, for all practical purposes over, is parenting.  By the time we learn how to be the BEST parents, our kids are grown up.  If we are lucky, they are still talking to us and have grown into some type of semi-functioning adult, perhaps even now trying to learn the lessons of parenting as we did.  They may (or may not) be interested in taking any advice from us, since all they know is what they experienced from us.  They either; A) still aren't talking to us; B) still haven't recovered from us; or C) (and I believe this may be the best case scenario) just don't recognize that the knowledge benefit comes at the end of the game.  Therefore, they will put little or no stock into any advice we may feel compelled to impart.  And sometimes, it is SO COMPELLING!

Remember, my mom had five kids in six years.  That means, there could have been a stretch in time when all five of us were VERY unpleasant to live with and be around.  By the time she recognized the knowledge victory (with me) she still had four more kids in short order to live through.  And, I was still too young to appreciate the lesson.

The next generation-it's started!

Fast forward to when I had kids.  Obviously due to circumstances rather than design (I am really just not that smart), I ended up having my three girls, unevenly spaced out over a period of twenty years.  What did that buy me, you ask?  HA!  At least one child at any given moment in time, would like me. When Megan was a teenager, Marissa adored me.  When things got a little tough with Marissa, I might have been in trouble because Megan wasn't quite back to liking me, but HELLO MADISON.  Here we are today.  Madison is a teenager, and guess what?  That's right!  While I believe Madison likes me (most of the time), I now have both Megan and Marissa as back up.  Plus, I had the benefit of three other kids thrown in the mix when Mr. French and I got married and for the most part, I think they have always liked me.  Not to mention a daughter-in-law (Lisa) that is another bonus!

Another observation, because of the time span, I have been a different mother to each of my girls and my three additions (Mike, Tyler and Julie).  Obviously, this is because the early parental knowledge gained has been improved upon with each addition.  And after practice parenting on all these kids, I now feel my advice is golden.  So much in fact, when my sister Katy and I both had babies at the same time and received conflicting advice from our pediatricians, I strongly encouraged her just to do it "my way, so we would know we were doing it right".

I don't suppose there is a right way to be the perfect parent, but this is what I do know:  My mom loved me and my siblings (even while she was learning) and I loved all my kids (throughout all parenting phases).  And I think when it's all said and done, what was started in love has ended up pretty darn good!

Until next time,
#callmewithquestions
#ihaveanswers

your pal,
Kari