Ask my mother!

When I was young, (let's start with the teenage years first) I believed there were appropriate time lines associated with just about everything we experience in life.  When I would see young married couples in their twenties, just starting a family, I thought they were very mature and grown-up. Worldly, even.  I would imagine my life in just a few short years and how much more "together" I would be.

My original three

When my grandmother died when I was 15, I truly believed for awhile that I would never smile again.  I was appalled at those laughing and visiting at the church luncheon put on immediately following the funeral.  Was there no decency or respect left in the world??  Surely, this wasn't appropriate behavior given the circumstances.  I also believed that if I only could have been older (grown-up) when this happened, I would have handled this loss so much easier.

Oh, the fallacies of youth.  Obviously, I have learned since that time that there is NEVER an appropriate age to say good-bye to anyone. It will always be too soon.  And I have been through loss that is prolonged and expected along with sudden without warning.  For those who say "it must be easier if you are prepared", I beg to differ at this time.  I am still wondering what "prepared" looks like.

Little Megan 

Which brings me to my mother.  I recall when my oldest daughter (Megan) was in her twenties.  I don't remember what was going on with her at the time, but I was talking to my mom and I very seriously asked (Keeping with my theory on time lines)..."how old will my kids be when I don't worry about them anymore?"  She said, "I'll let you know."  Wow!

Riss and Madi

Considering that I was my mother's firstborn, this was not comforting news.  It was like a full realization that the baby I was so excited to welcome into my world (times four) would be an active part of my thought (er worry) process EVERY SINGLE DAY FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!!!  Now, don't get me wrong, I love my kids (and a few others I didn't even birth), but WOW!!  I guess I always knew I would be worried when they were little, probably concerned and even annoyed when they were teenagers, but as adults - come on.  But wait, there's more!  Then they have children for you to add to the list.

Obviously, I wouldn't trade the joys and experience of being a mother (or Mimi) for anything in this world.  It's just that I wonder how many women (and men) really understand the emotional commitment they are making when they believe they are ready to have a child.  Surely, this should be a relationship of a lifetime, for a lifetime....without the vows of "for better or worse". Surely....it should be!

I know this, when you think about something that involves EVERY SINGLE DAY FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, it could sound like a sentence.  And to me it is....the best sentence I have ever read!!!

HA- Play on word intended!!

Until next time,
#blessbethetiesth


atbind

your pal,

Kari