Nice job taking your daughter out!

When I reflect on my first "real" job, (1979ish) what I always remember is my first performance evaluation.  I was all of 22 years old and my then boss, Art Ballou, sat down with me and went over expectations, goals and achievements.  This was like a report card all over again.  I still can see the smile Mr. Ballou had when I asked him if I could have an extra copy - to share with my mom.

Do we ever outgrow the need for others to see our value?  That may have been my first evaluation, but it wasn't the last one I shared with someone.  And not all evaluations were perfect, so even those that included statements that I may or may not have agreed with, I sought input and validation from those closest to me.

Our grade cards throughout school were, for the most part, a capable and objective measurement of our skills and talents (and even our behavior).  Once I transitioned to the performance evaluation, I realized how subjective this measurement could be.  It was especially challenging for me to remain objective when I began doing evaluations for others.

As I review (in my mind....I didn't save all of them) the plethora of evaluations I have been the subject of over my working career of 25+ years, it is easy to see how much more pleasing

I think I see it!

were the evaluations given by those who liked me.  And I will be the first to admit that I always want to be the "favorite".  Not as a given, but because of the value I bring to the team.  Notice, that is not past tense.

I take the liberty when being introduced to a new audience, to insert "his/her favorite" regardless of relationship.  Favorite to me translates to BEST!  If I am obviously not someone's favorite, I then determine what must happen....for that to happen.

I have been the recipient of forwarded emails, letters, etc. shared with me regarding those I work with...and those I love.  The information shared is generally written proof that this person is viewed as valuable where they work, through volunteering, etc.  What this proves to me is that I am not the only one still sharing positive affirmations received, with others.

Not all the positive comments involve performance and those are my favorite kind.  I think this need of hearing compliments started at an early age.  My mom has shared with me that when I was five, she had a friend over who while there heaped extravagant compliments regarding my appearance.  The next day I suggested to my mom that she invite her friend over again...so she could tell me how pretty I was.  (And so it began)

I won't go into detail with the compliments that have stayed in my memory for a lifetime.  That would seem vain,  BUT, let me share the latest comment that made my day while we were in Nashville.  As Terry and I were walking down the street one evening, heading back to the hotel, we passed a young man who said to us as we walked by "nice job taking your daughter out, man". Well,

It is no secret that I tell people I am Terry's trophy wife, but I had no idea I would find buy-in (ever).

Sometimes I think life is just a series of "performance evaluations".  Your evaluator will either be measuring "whatever" based on reality, or may be very subjective depending on how THEY feel.

And I have just discovered that sometimes, how they feel,,,,,is okay by me.

Until next time,
#simplepleasuresarethebest

your pal,
Kari