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| Enough said on this! |
Starting as a kid, we quickly learn the necessity (value) of a good excuse. First, our parents (and other adults who love us) make excuses for us. The screaming toddler in the grocery store - she missed her nap. The quick reflex grab of a toy from another child - he doesn't like to share.
It all starts out simple enough. And then as kids, we learned from the best, the value of just the right excuse.
Sometimes kids don't always get the excuse right. When I was very young, my mom came in when my brother and I were both crying. When asked what was wrong (basically who did what) I quickly got the first words in "he hit me...back". Sigh
And all these excuses have led to the demise of a sincere apology. I am so sorry but it wasn't my fault. What does fault have to do with an apology? Is fault the sole factor? I think not. Sometimes our behavior has unintended consequences and we need to own that also. Accidents happen (and should be followed by regret).
As we get older, we may even start qualifying excuses for others. Have you ever heard "There is no excuse for how John acted, but let's not forget who he has to live with". So now what are we saying? Apparently John can't be assigned any responsibility for actions as long as he can be led by the nose? It's basically the other person's fault because we don't care for them and certainly don't want to assign any blame to the person we love?
IMHO, once a certain age of accountability is reached (may differ depending on maturity), ownership of one's behavior and choices belongs to no one else. The word "but" should never follow any type of ownership or declarative statement. (Think - I am sorry but....I love you but....) I call it giving with one hand, and taking back with the other.
And one more thing, do people today not recognize the sheer power of the apology?
Enough said on this. This definitely ranks high on my pet peeves ....in so many categories.
Until next time,
#ownit
your pal,
Kari
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