Sticks and Stones

Who remembers chanting these words (or a variation thereof) when called a name?   "Sticks and Stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me."   I wonder if we ever really believed it - or it was just what it was.  A handy comeback.

And even as we get older (and realize how much words matter...and hurt), we still tell others (even our kids) to "buck up"; "what they call you says more about them then you"... and so it goes.  And the words still hurt. 

Many people hide behind the statement "I am just stating a fact."  MANY years ago, I started telling my kids "just because something is true, doesn't mean it needs to be said."   Given the explosion of false news and "facts", now I say "just because something is said, doesn't make it true"!  Both can apply.

When I think of all the subjective words we use (and represent as gospel), I am embarrassed.  And it seems that now, more than ever, if we use a word to describe someone, that is all they become.  And we all are so much more than just a word.  Yet the more we focus on a word, the more that is only what we see.

Word(s) can be so heavy.

An example that I have witnessed (and certainly been guilty of myself) is how we describe our kids or grand kids, to others.  I have noticed over the years, the word(s) we apply, become the personalities we accept. (expect?)  So now words become labels and anything "less than" could be cause of disappointment.  If you have a (grand)child that you always label as smart, when they confront something that they might not do as well in, are they now stupid?  Lazy?  Irresponsible? 

What about your child/friend/spouse with a sunny disposition?  Are they never allowed to have a bad day? 

Of course not.  Yet our minds tend to quickly arrive at the conclusion "what you see is all there is." 

The other day Terry and I were having a conversation with another couple about the City of Austin.  Someone mentioned a negative (subjective) about the city which started the discussion.  It would have been easy to focus on that one aspect but that day, I felt compelled to list all the things we LOVE about Austin.   The entire conversation ended on a more positive note.

What if we explored all aspects...of people, of situations......OF EVERYTHING, before we reached a conclusion?   And once we reach a conclusion, what if we allowed a reassessment from time to time?  And were open to change?

Am I crazy?  (or so much more)

Until next time,
#morethanmeetstheeye

your pal,
Kari