This baggage is heavy...but I can't seem to leave it behind

Today I was at Sonic (no surprise there) and when I pulled in, I was talking to my mom so I decided to skip the drive through and just order from the stall.  It wasn't busy, it was less intrusive on my conversation and I wasn't in any hurry.  After I ordered, I talked to my step-dad, chatted again with my mom and before long I realized my throat was parched.  Cars were coming and going all over the place and I was still sitting there without my drink.  Now, I could have punched that button and got all ugly but I didn't. This was my choice to be leisure so I pushed the button again, checked in and said, "hey, I think you forgot about me.  I have been here about 15 minutes now and see cars coming and going".  Instantly apologetic, my drink was delivered, not only free of charge but with Sonic coins for free drinks for my next two visits.  Not expected but appreciated.  I didn't hear excuses and no one got defensive with me. 

I gave my Sonic friends a break because I didn't know what was going on with them and I knew what was going on with me.  Yet so many times we are more kind to strangers then we are to those we know and love.  (Maybe we don't always love those we know...and that's also part of the problem). 

Why is that?  I believe it's because we can (and do) always refer back to the past.  And not the person's past specifically but our past history shared with that person.  I know I am guilty of this, too.  How does it get started?  If I order a diet coke every time I go to Sonic, should they just start bringing me one?  They could say - but you always order one.  I know you.  It is what we expect.  Of course not.  As a customer, we have the freedom (and right) to change.  Not always so easy in our day to day life.   Relationships are built on patterns that soon become expectations and when expectations aren't met....disappointment, disgust, betrayal?  But with strangers you get a clean slate every time.   Thank goodness we do with someone.

I was talking to someone I love today about how we look at things.  He was involved in a situation where he "knew" this person and it was "just like them" to behave this way.   As we discussed solutions, I asked him, "what would you do if both people were strangers to you"?  He indicated that he would naturally get both sides of the story ....but that wasn't necessary this time. 

If we stop right there and think about it, how can any of us ever leave what we have done behind?  I would categorize this a new form of Stranger Danger....in that our past puts our future in jeopardy if at any time a stranger makes an accusation that SOUNDS like something we may have done in the past, we are instantly guilty.  Will we always be held to a standard that at one time we were embarrassed by?  Or maybe for some of us, that standard is set differently now for what we hope to accomplish. Where can we leave this baggage?

Let's start with each other.
You can leave your baggage here with me. 

Until next time,

your pal,
Kari