Wednesday, March 25, 2015

Even for the times I don't want to listen- thank you God for my hearing!

Yesterday Madi's softball team played against the ladies at the Texas School for the Deaf.  This always proves to be an evenly matched contest and this year was no different.  The scores are traded back and forth each inning and they played the full seven.  I am always impressed by the team's ability to communicate in the fast paced movements of the game.

I find myself watching not only the girls playing but watching the crowd.  It was then that all that goes with language and hearing dawned on me.  When one can't hear, it is not only sound they can't hear, but the subtleties of the spoken word.

Think first about a private conversation.  If I want to have one with you, we can turn away from others, lower our voices and carry on "as if" we are alone.  When you speak with your hands, everyone who knows the language is privy to your conversation.  And I was thinking about this from a teenager's perspective, as well.  There were many young people watching the game, sitting with their friends while the adults were sitting on other bleachers.  All it would take is a glance (or hard stare depending on sight requirements) and you would know exactly what your child was talking about.  It seemed such an invasion of privacy.

Then I thought about all the nuances of "tone".  When I speak to my kids, they can tell much more from my tone than from my words, what I am really saying to them.  I wondered how you would explain a whisper to someone who had never heard sound?  Or even a yell?  I know definitively one could explain to and be understood but would it seem very foreign?

When I was 14, I babysat three kids for the summer.  The youngest who was six at the time, Craig, was deaf.  I managed to pick up bits and pieces of sign language over the summer so I could communicate with him directly but also relied on his older sister and brother.  I still remember when he would get mad at me, I would be so frustrated because he would not look at me.  A reminder that when one can't hear, you need their cooperation to communicate.

And I know I think too much but then I realized the impact hearing loss would have on an entire family.  Despite all the times we "selectively" choose not to listen, we certainly can still hear what's going on around us.

Madi was born with no hearing in her right ear and 17 years later, if we aren't paying attention, we still try to get her attention on the wrong side.  One time when she was little and I was saying something about her to someone else, she said, "I can hear you, I've got ear".  Yes, singular - so she was very aware of what she could hear with.

So while I think too much, this is what I know for sure.  While we all can't hear the same things, and some of us that can hear, don't always listen, I am surely grateful that regardless of our circumstances there are many ways to communicate so we all are heard!

Until next time,
#iCANhearYOU

your pal,
Kari

#day18

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