Which one do you feed the most?

A grandfather is talking with his grandson and he says there are two wolves inside of us which are always at war with each other.  One of them is a good wolf which represents things like kindness, bravery and love. The other is a bad wolf, which represents things like greed, hatred and fear.  The grandson stops and thinks about it for a second then he looks up at his grandfather and says, “Grandfather, which one wins?”

 The grandfather quietly replies, “the one you feed the most”

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This story has many titles, and variations and the source of origin is unknown.  What is consistently the same is the outcome. 

I choose family

I am a "half-full" kind of woman.  I believe I am this way because of  "the one I feed the most".  Katy and I have talked about this; our shared ability to turn a negative into a positive...or at least find a bright light in any given circumstance.  And when no bright light can be found, we take comfort in the fact that it wasn't any worse.

Thirty years ago (tomorrow), my son Zachary died.  It was a very dark December for us that year (and for many to come).  I remember thinking even then, "it could have been worse". And then I would list in my head all the scenarios that didn't play out which would have made it worse.  This is who I am.

There are so many things that happen during life.  As I have said, some worse than others and some people suffer more than any human being should have to. All we have to do is turn on the news and within minutes, something will be reported that breaks hearts.  

But this isn't the end of the story.   What happens to us does not need to define us, but our choices going forward will make us who we are. 

I choose love!

Choices.

One of my favorite words.  When I wake up in the morning, how will I view the day?  My choice.  As I interact with my co-workers, who do I want to be?  My choice.  Is there anything to be grateful for today (you got it...my choice).  And how about humor?

I make the choice to be grateful daily and find humor in all things possible. My humor is irreverent at times and my laughter may be inappropriate.  So you could say, sometimes I choose laughter...but sometimes it chooses me.   Laughter releases all kinds of positive endorphins that make everything better. But again, it's a choice.

I remember when Terry and I were raising kids and hadn't been married a real long time.  Mr. French can be quite intense and if there was something to get upset about, he tended to get upset.  I am happy to report that he did not chose to live that way for long.  One time he got angry about something (it could have been a football score) and Madison was 2 or 3.  She looked at him and started laughing.  The older kids looked at her as if she had lost her mind.  But within a minute, Terry started laughing, too.  That now tends to be our "go to" response. (Thanks, Madison.)

I choose penguins.

Over the past many years, I seemed to be anxious and fearful about a lot of things.  It wasn't until about five years ago that I realized I was making a choice.  I was afraid to fly, heights, enclosed places, people...the list goes on and on.  I was choosing fear.  Change did not happen overnight, but now I am like Pavlov's dog - as soon as I am on an airplane, I can fall asleep. I am THAT COMFORTABLE.  Sometimes before we even take off.  As recently as our last vacation, I went zip-lining.  We have also been hiking in mountains on very narrow trails.  These things happen now, because of my choices.

As we prepare for this holy season, I hope you take the time to reflect on who you are and who you want to be. 

Until next time,  

#loveconquers

your pal,

Kari