Behaviors to keep in check

Before you speak, is it kind, true, respectful..necessary

I was reading a blog the other day talking about the five behaviors we must teach our kids to conquer, and it dawned on me that adults tend to struggle with these behaviors as well.  We can argue whether or not it is because we were never taught - or maybe it's just a sign of our times.

The first one is lying.  Is it any wonder our children lie when they see adults do it every day on television?  Shameful.  For that matter, I would even go so far as to suggest that maybe witnessing the media (day in and day out) put their particular slant on the truth, tends to make lying easier for all of us.  And not only TV and the media, any brand of social media sports its own unique brand of "fake news" which is just a vanilla term for lying.  We have even come up with words to excuse a lie - how about "exaggerated" "storyteller" and "just kidding" if we get called out.

The next one to consider is disrespecting authority.  Again, prime time television shows are chalk full of disrespectful behavior to adults, (including parents) and authority figures.  I can promise you my mouth would have been full of soap had I even THOUGHT about saying some of the things we witness and take as acceptable behavior.  No one is exempt.  From parents, neighbors, strangers, teachers and coaches, all the way up to our elected officials (and wannabees).

And along with the disrespectful behavior are the twin evils "unkind words and aggressive behavior".   This is an added bonus to "disrespecting authority".  Whatever happened to "if you don't have anything nice to say, say nothing at all."  I would even add, "if you don't have anything nice to say, constructive to the perceived problem, or sharing of past experience with same issue...zip it." Today's disagreements quickly escalate into name calling and (at times) threats.  That will really get me to change my opinion...NOT!

Last but not least - laziness.  Why?  In the past several years, the inclination to do nothing rather than something is almost epidemic.  Who will get the job done (whatever that job may be) if not you and me?  Keep in mind I am differentiating between "can't do" and "won't do".  One of the sayings I grew up with in the work world was "you can either push the wagon, or pull the wagon, but riders who shouldn't be riding, will be escorted off the wagon."  Granted, we all have our lazy days, but this is not a way of life.

If you still have children at home, there is time to address these issues.  Call them out on a lie (it may be cute at 3 but won't be at 13).  If your child is disrespectful to you (or anyone else), set the record straight on how we treat people.  Don't let them hear you disrespecting others either.  Kids are great mimics!  When unkind words or aggressive behavior is displayed, pull your child aside and voice your concern.  Sit them down for a few minutes (age appropriate) of pondering.  And finally, laziness has an easy solution.  Have your child set the table (clear it off), unload the dishwasher, make their bed, clean their room, write a letter to their Mimi (HINT).  Help them learn how to earn the participation medal in life.

Don't get me started on that today....a blog topic for another day.

Until next,
#nottoolateforyou
#everyone

your pal,
Kari

The Rear view window...of life

When you look back,what do you see?  Or should I say, what do you focus on, when you sneak that peek of the past?  We all take a quick peak over our shoulder,  especially this time of year.  And the interesting thing is, no matter what we see in reflection - nothing can be changed.

#everyday

In fact, any time we look in the rear view mirror (literally) it is just to see where we have been, or what might be coming up on us.  Today I was so busy checking my rear view mirror, I almost missed my exit.  Nothing looming behind me that could trigger a reaction, but I certainly wasn't focused on where I was going for that brief second.

Some of us have printed on our rear view mirror, "objects may be closer than the appear".  As the years go by, I can attest to many times when my reflective mirror brings the past to my front door.

And the longer we live, the more crowded the sights in the rear view mirror become.  What was significant one year, pales in comparison as we move forward.  (Note:  never think it can't get worse)

Then we begin the "what if" stage of our passing glance.  What if I said this???  Or what if I did that??  Everything would have changed.  At least that is what we think.  When in reality, we don't know that with any certainty....it just gives us the illusion of control.

Another major risk of looking too long in the rear view mirror, is that we may collide head-on, with what the future holds.  Or, maybe we will miss what was there all along.  Life certainly takes our full attention and trying to dabble in the past can upset the present apple cart. 

What will 2018 hold?  The New Year signifies new beginnings, efforts, opportunities for many.  Yet if we really want to have some illusion of "control" (or at least choice) in this life, our "New Year" can start any time we want to institute change.  When we look at life that way, every day is an opportunity...and more importantly, a blessing.

I don't know about you, but I am going to look at this New Year as a opportunity, ONE DAY AT A TIME.  There are many things I hope to accomplish and I am going to renew my efforts... daily!

Until next time,
#HAPPYNEWYEAR
#EVERYDAY

your pal,
Kari

How to reduce your risk of death

Adding minutes one step at a time

This is interesting to me.  How many studies do we see that say "Just 15 minutes of exercise a day will lower the risk of death by 22 per cent", or "Lose weight and eliminate or lower your chance of diabetes (which can lead to death).

Now, don't get me wrong.  I love all the tidbits that help keep me healthy, however, for this to be meaningful, don't we need to know exactly how much time we are playing with?  

If someone tells me, "if you leave now, you will save 15 minutes off your total commute" I know that means I will get home in 30 minutes.  Because I know how long it normally takes.

It all goes back to knowing what you start with and figuring it out from there.   I have never read an obituary that read "John Doe died at the age of 70.  Lucky for him, he earned an additional 15 years (he would have died at 55 ) but thanks to his quitting smoking when he did, 10 years were added to his life.  And then he started walking every day which also created some bonus time of an additional 5 years.  I think you are picking up what I am putting down.

time is my choice

We are like a carton of milk.  We will go bad at some point (die) but we don't have an expiration date stamped on us anywhere (that I can find).

Makes me wonder.....Are we all so busy trying not to die that we forget to live?  Or at least place value on what is important at any given time?

It is very easy for us to focus on all the things that have (or could) go wrong!  Can you imagine what a day would look like if we focused only on our blessings?

At the end of the day, I want to do everything right (or at least within moderation) for my health.  But I guess I should want to do that anyway.  But using death as a consequence seems ineffective, since we are all going to die someday, no matter what.

Key points - death - still not optional.  Timing of death - still an unknown.  Life - whatever we choose to make of it.  Timing of life - Still all about how we choose to spend it.

Bottom line - Choices win!

Until next time,
#eatlovepray

your pal,
Kari

Check your blindspot

Lord, graciously keep me this night

I love the moon.  I may  have mentioned this before but the moon was something consistent that I could point out to Madison when we were apart.  I would call her before she went to bed and tell her to look out the window at the moon and know that I was looking at the very same thing....at the very same time.  The same percentage of the Moon will be illuminated no matter where on Earth you are.  This made us feel connected. 

There are so many different phases of the moon to be appreciated (eight to be exact).

In Western culture, we divide the lunar month into four primary and four intermediate Moon phases.  The Moon phases start with the invisible New Moon, while the first visible phase is the thin sliver of a Waxing Crescent Moon. Around a week later, half of the Moon’s surface is illuminated while the other half is in darkness at First Quarter Moon.

Fourteen-fifteen days into the cycle, we enjoy a Full Moon.  Before that, the illuminated part continues to grow into a Waxing Gibbous Moon, until we see the entire face of the Moon.

It then gradually shrinks into a Waning Gibbous Moon, and when it reaches Third Quarter, the opposite half from the First Quarter is illuminated. From there, it fades into the Waning Crescent Moon before it finally disappears from view again, only to reemerge and repeat this cycle over and over.  A literal circle of life.

I was driving home the other night when I enjoyed a glimpse of the Waning Crescent Moon.  The light from the moon seemed to indicate that what I was seeing was all there was.  And then I began to ponder....

How many times in life do we question (or worse yet believe) "this is all there is".  None of us were promised a life free from strife, challenges, loss.  In this way we are all equal.  No matter how educated, wealthy, smart, likable, etc.etc., no one gets a free pass.  And at times, the darkness can be overwhelming.

Just these past few days Terry and I enjoyed the almost full moon for two nights.  We talked about which night would reveal the moon in its full glory.  Anticipation.  And then, the big night arrived.  Cloud cover.  Completely.  We missed it.

Yet, we knew it was still there.  We didn't have to see it to appreciate and believe that somewhere, someone at that very moment, was enjoying the sight of the moon (super this time).

And it resonated with me, this is what faith is all about.  The type of faith that believes without seeing.  I am so grateful
.

Until next time,
#wearenotofthisworld

your pal,
Kari

• 
  

Like a Runaway train

Sometimes I am amazed at all I have accomplished.  We are talking lifetime achievements here, not this past week.  I have managed to graduate from college.  I have completed a masters degree program.  I have participated in numerous training programs that required a commitment of time and attention.  I have enjoyed a successful career, all while raising children.  Yet, at times, I am startled by my inability to stay in the "moment".

a whirlwind of activity

Oh sure, I am physically present, and initially I am even "on track" with whatever is going on.  However, I can be "miles down the road" before I slowly become aware that I am no longer "present and accounted for".

I wish I could say that this just happens when the topic discussed doesn't apply to me, or the meeting is going on ad nauseam,  but I find I can start out interested in something.....and then my thoughts are hijacked by whatever random ideas pop into my head.  Actually, it's more like a stealth infiltration.  I will totally switch gears, and am not even aware this has happened until I "surface" again.

I am a very visual person, so even in my head, I tend to map out plans, projects, lists, etc.  Sometimes I go so far as to "hearing" the conversations that will need to take place.  And yes, there are times when I vocally participate.  ( It surprises me, too.)

Part of the problem could be that I never feel content to do just one thing at any given time.  If I am watching TV, I am also catching up on my Yahtzee and Words with Friends game.  If it is not my turn, I have a "go-to" game that I play alone (Merged).

If I am knitting, I am listening to an Audible book.  If I am sewing, music is playing for my singing contribution.  Not so much a problem when I am at home, but if I am expected to sit still and "be present" for a meeting, I can promise you that after 15 - 20 minutes, I am doodling all over my notes and thinking about only God knows what.

During my 30 minute drive, if I am not on a scheduled phone call, I like to listen to my Audible (currently listening to Stephen King, "It" over 44 hours long.  I am in the last 3 hours.)   Lucky for me, I can hit rewind when I realize my mind has been busy piecing together my first quilting project, or going over what I need to get done for the day.

In summary, my brain is an untamed beast, the last Frontier, or my favorite entertainment.  What I know for sure is, I cannot hold a thought.  And now you know why.

Until next time,
#knockknock
#jokeorvisitors?

your pal,
Kari

Does anybody really know what time it is?

Time Traveler

One of the things I rely on is time.  I like to see clocks and watches, hear chimes and bells.  My day is guided by a print-out of "time".  Time commitments and free time. Fun things and not so fun.  But, I like to know where I am supposed to be, at any given time.

Time is something we cannot buy or save.  It is simply allocated so....

One of my PET PEEVES, is disrespecting time.  What I mean by that (and have mentioned it before) is, if a designated time is given to start something, let's get going.  On the other side of that coin (or clock), when time is up, it's over.  In football, before the game is over, we have the two minute warning.  I like to think of myself as the two minute warning, since I may be guilty of gathering up my things when the 2 minute warning sounds in my head.

Time changes can be a challenge.  While we have can save daylight (as in savings time) we can't really change the time.  However, the experience was different for me recently as evidenced by our recent trip to Arizona.  Now, we could totally plan for the 2 hour difference (this was prior to day light savings time) and we adjusted accordingly.  We advised family that we were running a couple of hours behind which eliminated early morning calls, etc.  Then came the day we visited the Grand Canyon. 

We didn't realize we were in a time warp until it came time to check in for our flight the next day.  The alarm set on my phone rang at 3:00 p.m. and I quickly switched over to my Southwest App.  No check in available.  How can this be?  We are in Arizona (hence Arizona time) and are leaving at 3:00 pm.  After several failed attempts, and EVEN KNOWING that Madison was two hours AHEAD of us,  I sent her a text and asked if she could check us in.  Soon her message came back - it's not time yet.  Hmmm.  Such a conundrum.  I synchronized my watch with Terry's...same time.  Went back to the Southwest app and checked flight time....nothing changed.  By now it is 3:30 p.m.  Madison then texted that she was didn't think we needed to check in for another 30 minutes.  I asked the all important question....what time do you have?  BINGO.  She had 4:30 pm which meant regardless of what my watch, IPhone, Terry's Apple watch and IPhone said.....We did not know what time it really was.

Okay, so we waited.  And then about ten minutes later, I checked my watch and instead of 3:40 pm, it now said 2:40 pm.  Terry had the same thing.  I think we all know what this means.  Terry and I have officially been designated as time travelers (still not sure what direction we were going).  I wish I could say it stopped there.  Seriously, the next 20 minutes were 2:45 now 3:50 now 2:51 now 3:55....I think you get the drift.

Finally at 3:00 pm (or 4:00) but more importantly at 5:00 pm Central Standard time (AKA Madison time), we had the opportunity to check in.

That's when we lost our phone signal.  Sigh.

No worries - the happy ending was that Madison was still watching and got the job done.

Until next time,
#whatevertimethatmightbe

your time traveler,
Kari

Sticks and Stones

Who remembers chanting these words (or a variation thereof) when called a name?   "Sticks and Stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me."   I wonder if we ever really believed it - or it was just what it was.  A handy comeback.

And even as we get older (and realize how much words matter...and hurt), we still tell others (even our kids) to "buck up"; "what they call you says more about them then you"... and so it goes.  And the words still hurt. 

Many people hide behind the statement "I am just stating a fact."  MANY years ago, I started telling my kids "just because something is true, doesn't mean it needs to be said."   Given the explosion of false news and "facts", now I say "just because something is said, doesn't make it true"!  Both can apply.

When I think of all the subjective words we use (and represent as gospel), I am embarrassed.  And it seems that now, more than ever, if we use a word to describe someone, that is all they become.  And we all are so much more than just a word.  Yet the more we focus on a word, the more that is only what we see.

Word(s) can be so heavy.

An example that I have witnessed (and certainly been guilty of myself) is how we describe our kids or grand kids, to others.  I have noticed over the years, the word(s) we apply, become the personalities we accept. (expect?)  So now words become labels and anything "less than" could be cause of disappointment.  If you have a (grand)child that you always label as smart, when they confront something that they might not do as well in, are they now stupid?  Lazy?  Irresponsible? 

What about your child/friend/spouse with a sunny disposition?  Are they never allowed to have a bad day? 

Of course not.  Yet our minds tend to quickly arrive at the conclusion "what you see is all there is." 

The other day Terry and I were having a conversation with another couple about the City of Austin.  Someone mentioned a negative (subjective) about the city which started the discussion.  It would have been easy to focus on that one aspect but that day, I felt compelled to list all the things we LOVE about Austin.   The entire conversation ended on a more positive note.

What if we explored all aspects...of people, of situations......OF EVERYTHING, before we reached a conclusion?   And once we reach a conclusion, what if we allowed a reassessment from time to time?  And were open to change?

Am I crazy?  (or so much more)

Until next time,
#morethanmeetstheeye

your pal,
Kari