There is a name for that!

The one in the middle is fake!

What is the word for a person who always takes pictures with statues or other inanimate objects? And I mean a word like...hypochondriac (someone who always thinks they are ill) or claustrophobic (doesn't like enclosed places).  I am sure one exists.

However, when you find this word and look it up in the dictionary, I think you fill find a picture of me...with some type of object.  I can't recall when it started, but I know it goes back many years.  Obviously it still continues.  I was scrolling through pictures on my phone the other day and was amazed at how many photos I had just going back six months.  I stopped after that because I just didn't have that kind of time.

A picture is worth a thousand words (or so I have been told).  I remember when I was employed at a utility in Kansas (to remain unnamed), there was a time when Catharine (my trusted assistant) and I took advantage of several photo opportunities to create a story to cheer Marissa up. Do either of you remember?

Business function-boss took pic

Notice the picture I recently came across of my brother dating back to his early twenties.  He obviously had the same "condition".  And now I find myself shamelessly encouraging other family members to join (and enable) me in my affliction.  Where will it all end?

Brother and his pals

While attending business functions (where you would think I could quell the urge) I have asked my co-workers, table mates....heck, even my boss one time, to quickly snap my photo with the object of my desire.

This entire page could be dedicated to various photos of me with (fill in the blank) and that is not a life time achievement....that might cover the past year.  When it comes to still life objects, I know no strangers.

People who know me will tell you that I rely heavily on humor - and I can think of very few exceptions where I would not (or could not) be counted on to behave irreverently.  I like to think in the big picture - it's just part of who I am.

Until next time,
#iheartmannequins


your pal,
Kari

One is silver and the other gold

Has become family- friend (going on 45 yrs)

When I was in girl scouts, there was a little song we always sang (join in if you know it); "Make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver and the other gold."  I only remember the first verse but that's all I need.

Growing up, it was all black and white - either it was "She's my friend....or she's not my friend."   Friendships come so easy when you are surrounded by peers all the time.  School is a natural habitat to facilitate that growth and exposure.

As adults,  we have commitments to family, our job, etc. that push friends to the back burner.  We also have different categories of friends - work friends, childhood friends, church friends, couples friends..whatever interest and category we socialize in - there is another bucket of friends.

I listened to a podcast the other day and the topic was friendship and best friends.   It caused me to reflect on my many friends and best friends growing up.   I can think back to my first best friend (3rd grade).  Her name was Vivian and until I moved to another school district, we were inseparable.  I rebounded quickly in 5th grade when I met Marsha.  We were total opposites physically.  She was tall, blond and leggy while I was brunette, short and had to walk faster to keep up.  When she moved to Texas, my new best friend was Debbie.  For all of them to this day, I can still remember where they lived, and who was in their family.  Once junior high came along, I became best friends with Arlene.  This lasted until we went to different high schools.   Enter Cindy!

While I have had a best friend, I have also had a circle of friends.  Many of my initial best friends became a part of a larger circle.  Different friends serve different purposes.

It wasn't until I was an adult that I began differentiating acquaintances versus friends.  I also recognized the opportunity of having a more diverse set of friends as an adult.

New Texas fun friends!!

Since we have moved to Texas, we have made some new friends.  They have helped us become a part of a bigger family and provided a real sense of community.  We recognize this as particularly important - as most family members are a considerable distance away.  And since the advent of Facebook, I have "reconnected" with many of my friends from high school.

In reviewing and enjoying some of my high school memories, I was saddened to realize how many of those in my memory have died.  Milly, Gena, Belinda, Vivian, Mark, Tim, Rick..the list goes on.  And will continue to grow.  And then there are those friends who I have lost touch with.  In another sense, they are gone also.

Today I am going to reach out to a couple of friends - just to touch base and say hi. Or maybe share a memory that I thought of while thinking of them.

Until next time,
#whodoyoumiss

your pal,
Kari

Like sands through the hourglass...

How will spend it?

Happy New Year!  We are at that magical "blank slate" time of year - all things are new and the year holds much promise.  It appears as if we have all the time in the world to make good on our resolutions, cross items off the bucket list and make a big dent in our "things to do".

But even as the year begins, minutes are already gone forever.  Each moment in time is worth exactly that - a moment in time.  The value can only increase if we are happy with our choices in how we spend our time.  Because whether we stare out the window or invent a new medicine, that moment will be gone.

I was visiting with some folks I work with the other day about this very topic.  If we look back at 2016, are we where we thought we would be?  Want to be?  Did we accomplish what we set out to at the beginning of the year?  Or did we just let the year unravel, reacting rather than planning?

Lately, I have been focused on choices, followed by accountability.  If you haven't read it yet, please read "The Rhythm of Life" by Matthew Kelly.  I originally ordered this book on my Kindle, after reading a recommendation from someone on LinkedIn.  I enjoyed the book so much, I had to order a paper copy, not only so I could re-read it, but I wanted to highlight key parts and have it for a quick reference.

So after reading (and pondering) what was shared, one of my goals in 2017 is to make accountable choices for how I spend my time.  In the past, I have succumbed to the argument that there is no sense in making plans since we are not in control here.  If we don't die before our plans come to fruition (worst case scenario), there are still multitudes of "life" issues that could have impact.

I am not subscribing to that theory any more.  Now I look at the empty calendar and cross reference it with my list of "things I want to do".  Now, that list isn't full of travel plans and family visits (although both are represented) but other things that one might consider accomplishments.

Even as I plan on spending money, I want to have a plan to earn and save money.  Twice monthly piano lessons, Rosetta Stone Spanish, knitting for charity....all these things have a place on my list. So does sorting through a lifetime of pictures and creating some semblance of order, creating a spreadsheet of all the books I own (and what I want to do with them), the list goes on.

I will not do ANY of the above without a plan.  I need to look at the calendar and allocate time for all of these things.  If I wait for it to happen, or for me to "feel" like it, I will be having this same conversation with you next year around this time.

A couple of years ago, my sister Katy and I planned a "dream" vacation.  We spent an entire year determining what we would want to see and do, how much money should be allotted, etc.  We had the BEST TIME EVER and got to meet several family members for the first time.  It was a little sad when it was over, because we had enjoyed the time planning AND going.

2017 is going to be the year for me to make things happen and get things done.  How about you?  Do you have a plan?

Until next time,
#enjoythejourney

your pal,
Kari

Do you hear what I hear?

Do you ever find yourself getting so caught up in how something is presented - you fail to hear the presentation?

I know I have talked before about how three different witnesses at any given accident, will see three different things.  They may or may not complement the other's version and that is because we all bring our own personal bias, life lessons and viewpoint to whatever we are looking at.  The same can also be said about how we listen.

No matter what our intent when it comes to listening, if we can't hear, or have difficulty hearing, this will also change the message.  We have a choice to listen but may have physical limitations when it comes to actually hearing.

At my house, I generally repeat things at least twice, sometimes three times, depending on my audience.  When Madison was little, she was having a hearing test - both ears independent of the other and then together.  Madison has no hearing in her right ear.  It was a real learning experience for me to learn how some words could sound so different when you are only hearing with one ear.  I will never forget the time when I was talking with someone (about Madison) and all of a sudden she piped up "I can hear you, mom, I have ear".



This past weekend, as we were leaving church on New Year's Eve (the best way to close out one year and begin anew for the next), we stood in line greet Pastor.  I couldn't help but overhear an older gentleman make a comment to Pastor something like this..."You only used the word Jesus three times in your sermon tonight".  The man looked a bit unhappy and Pastor quickly asked him "an observation or complaint?"  And the man gruffly said "complaint".  It was duly noted.

I chose not to say anything to Pastor after we wished him a Happy New Year but I have thought about the conversation often since.  I wish I would have said "sometimes we get so caught up in listening for a key word or phrase, that we end up missing the whole message".  And I did hear a message that night.  I cannot tell you how many times Pastor said ANY word in his sermon.  I try to attentively listen to the words as a whole and the intent in which it is presented.  But everyone is different.

So, are we really listening or just hearing?  Because if we are just hearing, we are not listening.  And if we can't hear (physically), what do we need to do to effectively listen?  There are so many components of a message; voice tone, speed of delivery, eye contact, body gestures...and oh yeah, the words that make up the message. Then we need to take into account our mood, our receptiveness, etc. etc.  Finally, do all things relate, or in this instance, should they stand alone?

In an intense discussion, do you hear a verdict, or were you just offered a solution?  I guess it depends on what you were listening for.

Until next time,
#areyoulisteningtome?

your pal,
Kari

"A baby changes everything"

December is a diverse month.  Winter officially begins, shopping is in full swing, it seems dark more than it is light and for me, this month is bittersweet.

Over the years, December has proven to be a difficult month for our family.  We have suffered significant health issues and loss.  At times it has been difficult to hold on to the hope that this season offers.

no crib for a bed

This is in sharp contrast to growing up; this time of year was filled with anticipation and excitement.  By Christmas Eve us five kids never could seem to settle down and go to sleep.  I remember still being awake in the wee hours of the morning.  I am sure by that time, mom was desperate to finish wrapping and GO TO BED.

My earliest recollection of the true meaning of Christmas was when I was in 5th grade.  We did not go to church regularly as a family, but often times we were included and attended with neighbors and friends.  The lady across the street was our "before school" babysitter and her family attended a Nazarene church in the neighborhood.  I started going to church with them and they held a competition for the kids attending - who could memorize the Christmas Story in its entirety (Luke 2:1-20) .

Back then my memory was much more reliable than it is today and I won the competition.  The reward was reciting the story during the church service.  As the winner, I also received a Bible. While I didn't attend that church for a long period of time, it had a lasting effect on me.

I have had periods of time when I wasn't attending church.  Yet I was always searching.  My faith was always a part of me.  The particular denominations have varied but in 1983, I found my "forever" church home.

I was actively looking for a good fit at the time when a co-worker, Marlene Shellenburger, invited me to attend St. John's Lutheran Church in Topeka.  As I explained to the Pastor when I met with him to discuss joining, "this church felt like I had come home".  My sister and I took adult confirmation classes together and were confirmed later that year.  I have only changed churches three times since 1983 and it has always been precipitated by a move; never a change of faith.

Ironically, my dad was baptized, confirmed and raised in the Lutheran church.  It had been many years since he attended regularly.  However, before he died in June, 1985, he had come full circle and was attending with us, as health permitted.

So the other day I heard Faith Hill on the radio singing, "A baby changes everything".  A simple line that made me ponder that complex truth.  All new parents experience the profound changes that occur while here on earth.  However, this song is about the changes that occurred when an unwed teenage mother found herself carrying a child almost 2000 years ago.  I am including a link if you haven't heard it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7D-DH9aT3bs

The last verse sums up the additional reward I received many years ago when my competitive nature memorized what Christmas is all about.

My whole life has turned around

I was lost but now I'm found
A baby changes everything, yeah
A baby changes everything


Until next time,
#Kingofkings

your pal,
Kari

Which one do you feed the most?

A grandfather is talking with his grandson and he says there are two wolves inside of us which are always at war with each other.  One of them is a good wolf which represents things like kindness, bravery and love. The other is a bad wolf, which represents things like greed, hatred and fear.  The grandson stops and thinks about it for a second then he looks up at his grandfather and says, “Grandfather, which one wins?”

 The grandfather quietly replies, “the one you feed the most”

.  

This story has many titles, and variations and the source of origin is unknown.  What is consistently the same is the outcome. 

I choose family

I am a "half-full" kind of woman.  I believe I am this way because of  "the one I feed the most".  Katy and I have talked about this; our shared ability to turn a negative into a positive...or at least find a bright light in any given circumstance.  And when no bright light can be found, we take comfort in the fact that it wasn't any worse.

Thirty years ago (tomorrow), my son Zachary died.  It was a very dark December for us that year (and for many to come).  I remember thinking even then, "it could have been worse". And then I would list in my head all the scenarios that didn't play out which would have made it worse.  This is who I am.

There are so many things that happen during life.  As I have said, some worse than others and some people suffer more than any human being should have to. All we have to do is turn on the news and within minutes, something will be reported that breaks hearts.  

But this isn't the end of the story.   What happens to us does not need to define us, but our choices going forward will make us who we are. 

I choose love!

Choices.

One of my favorite words.  When I wake up in the morning, how will I view the day?  My choice.  As I interact with my co-workers, who do I want to be?  My choice.  Is there anything to be grateful for today (you got it...my choice).  And how about humor?

I make the choice to be grateful daily and find humor in all things possible. My humor is irreverent at times and my laughter may be inappropriate.  So you could say, sometimes I choose laughter...but sometimes it chooses me.   Laughter releases all kinds of positive endorphins that make everything better. But again, it's a choice.

I remember when Terry and I were raising kids and hadn't been married a real long time.  Mr. French can be quite intense and if there was something to get upset about, he tended to get upset.  I am happy to report that he did not chose to live that way for long.  One time he got angry about something (it could have been a football score) and Madison was 2 or 3.  She looked at him and started laughing.  The older kids looked at her as if she had lost her mind.  But within a minute, Terry started laughing, too.  That now tends to be our "go to" response. (Thanks, Madison.)

I choose penguins.

Over the past many years, I seemed to be anxious and fearful about a lot of things.  It wasn't until about five years ago that I realized I was making a choice.  I was afraid to fly, heights, enclosed places, people...the list goes on and on.  I was choosing fear.  Change did not happen overnight, but now I am like Pavlov's dog - as soon as I am on an airplane, I can fall asleep. I am THAT COMFORTABLE.  Sometimes before we even take off.  As recently as our last vacation, I went zip-lining.  We have also been hiking in mountains on very narrow trails.  These things happen now, because of my choices.

As we prepare for this holy season, I hope you take the time to reflect on who you are and who you want to be. 

Until next time,  

#loveconquers

your pal,

Kari

The trouble with dream vacations.....

Wow!  What a great week spent celebrating our 20th anniversary and having our friends join us on our adventure.  We accomplished so many "firsts" for all of us (and at our age, I didn't really think there would be that many left).

Jungle time! #zika

I have also discovered as I have entered this phase of my life (not sure exactly what it is) that I am much braver than I have ever been before.  I tend to make plans without going over every little detail that could possibly go wrong...who am I?

Example:  Last week on our "escape from reality" I zip lined.  Not just one line but six...did I mention this was in a jungle in Jamaica?  WHOOHOOO.  It was simply amazing.  And obviously a first because I am not keen on heights...or I didn't used to be.  A couple of these lines went from tree to tree with a very small platform to stand on (with about 10 other people).  I may have become a "tree hugger" also (he he).

Next up - Mayfield Falls.  I thought we would hike along the falls, casually getting in and out as the spirit moved us.  No!  It was a jump in and go type of experience with any walking being done through the falls.  The water was initially a shock, but soon became quite refreshing.  We spent about 45 minutes walking through the falls with Mr. French daring to swim through a hole in a rock from one body of water to another followed by he and Dr. Lesko climbing up (and then jumping off) a tree located by the Falls.

Favorite team of waiters (and husbands)

The next day our plans took us to Grand Cayman for first time scuba diving.  The past did come back to haunt us via past health issues (there are some things you just should not lie about to participate).  We quickly regrouped and went to the beach.  Everything about that decision was positive - the clear water and warm temperatures and is it too soon to mention a common theme throughout this vacation - margaritas!  Mr. French rented a jet ski (another first for me) and we raced back and forth over ocean waters.

Our final excursion was Friday and we went by catamaran to Isla Pasion - in Cozumel.  For those of you who didn't receive the big news - Terry and I are reigning champions in the water balloon competition, after eliminating about a dozen other couples.

Even after MARGARITAS, we still have it going on.

#champions

I haven't even mentioned the spa that we all frequented daily while on board the Carnival Breeze, (can you say massage and facial)?  Or the Yoga classes we participated in (even though French's don't have the flexibility to really call what we did participating!).  And of course, the impromptu dancing (ok - mainly me) during any conceivable opportunity.  I can't believe I almost forgot to mention dining at The Chef's Table (and TF tried EVERYTHING) #pickyeater

You must be asking by now, what possible trouble could be associated with a dream vacation like we just enjoyed?  It's really quite simple - dream vacations END.

 The literal cold dose of reality hit when we docked in Galveston on Sunday.  We raced to the car in record rain fall, and it was cold.  This week brought more rain and cooler temperatures, plus it was back to work.  Apparently drinks aren't served with breakfast (or anytime for that matter).

Until next time,
#detox

your pal,
Kari